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Should You Expect More From Your Children?
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The title of this article leads to a mighty serious question; should you expect more from your children? Are we talking five year old kids or teens? What about adult children? What are our expectations and why do we have them?
When we’re expecting our children to live up to our expectations and we are strict about it, then sure enough, somewhere, there is going to be someone crying, “Foul!” For the first time in our history, the U.S. is really falling behind in education. Where my generation would rise to any challenge put forth by the world; kids today would rather take the easy way out. Why not take the easy way? That’s actually what they’ve been taught. Funny thing though, every generation has taken the easy way out. It’s not just the kids of today.
I was never pressured to get straight As in class, but I had friends that were. Some of them did better in life than me, and some, not so great. We each have a different way to measure our success. When it gets reported in the news that our children won’t know how to deal with a world economy and, that Asia will easily take over because their children are prodded into classroom competition, until we get to what is considered the future, we’re not going to know the truth of it all.
Asia may have stricter parents when it comes to an education, but we have college dropouts that change the world; thank you Bill Gates. In the U.S. we appreciate the artist in business more than most recognize. Facebook probably wouldn’t be what it is today if Mark Zuckerberg hadn’t crossed certain boundaries and, like an artist, Create! Create! Create!
Our children of the day may appear to be lazy in many respects to our past, but in truth, we’re not going to know just how lazy our expectations are about their future, until another 50 years. People, wake up! We’re about to match the computer with the human brain and do things that have been unfathomable before. It’s a different world and kids today that grew up with computers keyboards at their fingertips are going to be at a disadvantage to the youth that have the keyboard implanted in their brain. Do you see where this is going?
We expect our kids to expect more of themselves and do great work, but we’re going off of old information. Though I believe that children of the day don’t take their education seriously enough, I do agree that what they’re often being taught is a waste of time. many may disagree but, most human beings are geniuses, they’ve just never been taught to live up to that level of expectation.
I’m sure if I suggested that we move algebra to begin at the age of seven or second grade, instead of where it is now, I’d catch a lot of flack by people who don’t understand how smart human beings really are. As a matter of fact, there are psychology groups that would have you believe a seven year old isn’t capable or mature enough to grasp the concepts of algebra or calculus at such an early age. To that I say, “There are many kids that are doing it right now at age five. Perhaps if you “expected” more from your child, then they too would understand it.”
How can a five year old understand algebra? Are they just gifted children? Sometimes, yes, but mostly, they’re gifted by parents that nurture the child’s mind. Don’t hate the messenger but, we expect more from our children because we wish we had expected more of ourselves.
Jeff Scott is an author of self-help fiction, ghostwriter for professionals, a Toastmaster and a personal mentor. His books are available in paperback or instantly downloaded as an ebook. His work is also available through Amazon’s Kindle and other e-readers.
Join Jeff’s free, monthly newsletter, Creating Affinity Through Communication, by signing up at either of his websites: http://booksbyjeffscott.com or [http://affinity-comm.com]
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Emotional Quotient
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It does not matter how intelligent you are, there is something else that will predetermine the success and happiness you are experiencing in life.
It does not matter how gifted you are, there is something else that will predetermine the success and happiness you are experiencing in life.
Actually, there is one main thing that will override everything else in life, and this one thing will predetermine what you can expect for all outcomes in your life.
What is that one thing? The most important thing a person can work on to improve the individuals life is the Emotional Quotient-EQ.
About twenty years ago, Social Scientists were researching the elements that made some people more successful than others. Although the researchers looked at many different aspects of successful individuals, they started with Intelligent Quotients (IQs). Quickly they found individuals with very low IQs, who were successful financially, as well as with their relationships, and off the chart in regards to happiness. Obviously, IQs were not a predetermining factor. Neither were the numerous other factors they studied and compared in successful individuals.
As time went on, the scientists discovered and named they felt to be essential for success and happiness-the Emotional Quotient (EQ).
The EQ is how a person handles emotions on a regular basis. The better a person handles emotions, the better life that individual possesses. The converse is true as well.
The Mental Codes® discovery I made a few years ago has helped people to understand more about the relationship between what emotions they experience and the effect they have on life.
As I have mentioned in the past, people are addicted to negative emotions. They crave negative emotions and reinforce them in any way possible. i.e. Watching the news, talking negative about people and things, having their primary focus on the negative events in life, etc.
In one of my articles, I suggested you start paying attention to your inner thoughts throughout your day. I recommended noticing if your inner thinking is in line with your desired life or are your regular thoughts counter productive to what you want?
Today I would like to take you on another journey into your mind and discover one of the most limiting factors with your thinking. Since you have identified some Mental Codes® that are keeping you stuck in life, it is time to ask yourself a simple but powerful question.
Why do you want to feel that way?
I know at first you may declare, “I do not want to feel that way but I can not help it.” The truth is, the only thing we do have control over in life is our thinking and since our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions create our actions, and our actions create our habits, and our habits (good or bad) determine our success or failure. So you can see why it is important to control what we choose to think about most of the time. As a matter of fact, what we choose to think about will determine the rest of your life.
Thank goodness you can ask yourself the above question and give an honest answer to start upgrading your life to the next level. Everyone wants to feel the way they do for some reason. To discover the reason why you want to feel that way is the first step in accelerating your life into greater success.
As you start changing the thoughts you are allowing yourself to think (and not think), you will start to feel different emotionally. When you change your emotions, you change your life.
Sincerely,
Dr. Michael J. Duckett
Dr. Michael J. Duckett is a world renowned Social Scientist, Speaker, International Radio and Television Host, and Author of 133 books and programs. To see how Dr. Duckett can help propel you into success, please go to http://www.upgradinglife.com
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Music is for Everyone
Music is for Everyone
How Gifted Children Can Make Peace With Their Gifts!
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It goes without saying that gifted children are as varied in their academic, psychological and social needs as the households that produce them. Some children have successfully managed to integrate their academic gifts and talents with who they are as a person while others struggle to make such adjustments.
One thing I hear most as an acceleration coach from parents is how their child exhibits scholastic talent at home but “dumb themselves down” to avoid being singled out in school. We as parents know all too well the disastrous affects this behavior can have not just on our children’s academic career but on their self-esteem and the realization of their full potential.
Going along to just “get along” can cause children to lose their sense of self by constantly seeking outside approval and yielding to the will and intentions of others. For many kids this has led to profound stress, depression and exaggerated angst that further complicate the natural maturation process. Whereas for gifted children whose parents have taken the time to instill the confidence that comes through a balanced recognition of their precociousness (through the meticulous amending of their children’s educational and social needs to complement their intellectual prowess), many of them have gone on to enjoy healthy self-concepts and fulfilling careers.
So how can YOU as a parent help your child to find equilibrium as a gifted child? Here are a few suggestions:
oIf they are already sensitive to having gifts and talents that sets them apart from their peers, try to avoid using the terms “gifted”, “genius”, or “precocious”. More than likely, they want to be perceived as normal and singling them out even further by sticking them with these labels will only exacerbate the situation.
oBe creative in finding ways to focus on and further develop their gifts at home without the use the above-mentioned terms. Just because they may not want to be identified as gifted around their peers doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to engage in their gifts outside of school. They can’t help it! It’s just the way their brains are wired! Typically, who they are at their core will consistently drive them to want to learn and excel – albeit privately!
oIt is a known fact by experts that when children engage in activities they love and perform exceptionally well in…they become enthusiastic and inspired! This is where they find their POWER and within that their confidence will soar. You want to build up their self-esteem to the point where they become particularly proud of their gifts/talents and begin to stop caring about how others may perceive them.
oFinally, honor and acknowledge their personality/character traits. Tie some of their personal attributes to a successful life skill. For instance, once my daughter had difficulty grasping the way a particular lesson was being presented in her Pre-calculus class. After struggling a few minutes with the homework, she took the initiative to refer to other resources on the same lesson to find a “better way” that she could comprehend the information. Her tenacity and determination did pay off; attributes that serve as cornerstones to achievement in all of life’s endeavors!
Acknowledging the other personal virtues of children will help them to develop as a whole person and come to appreciate how they more than just their gifts.
Parents please remember that navigating this terrain isn’t just a matter of spontaneous spurts of adequate gifted instruction and personal attention. Raising precocious children requires commitment, skill and a lot of loving-kindness (in the form of patience) to realize a successful outcome.
Take solace in that the many parents who have come before you on this journey have already achieved the results they desired. You can most assuredly take your place among them!
Michelle Brown-Stafford,Acceleration Coach, Entrepreneur